Consequence of bad boyfriend.....!!!!

Today was one of my struggle days because of the consequence of a bad boyfriend!!! I went out with him anout 2 years ago and he was someone who didn't always returned my calls or messages. And now I see how bad he was in communication. As one day he decided to stop talking to me and upto now I still don't know why. I took me a long time to get over that .. about a year or so! Especially as there was no closure to it and I found it very hard. So now when someone doesn't return my calls or my text I get into this angry state and no way I can snap out of it!! The thing I know that everyone has a busy life and it is not always possible to reply straight away. But that is not always enough for me to calm down and be realistic about the situation. And when I get angry I start to be very emotional and start crying. The weird thing about all this is that I am a laid back chilled out person. But when something like that happens then I get really angry. And I hate it so so much. I have been talking to my counsellor about it and I thought dealt with it but obviously it takes time. And I know I am much better now but I am so angry at myself to for not being more relaxed about it. And see why this person hasn't called you back.Because there might be a very good reason why he/she hasn't. But it is so hard for me to deal with it.

Anyway my PT session was cancelled today so decided to go for a run. And it did me loads of good. I did a very hot and sweaty 7.5K. But my God it was so hot. I couldn't believe it!! I thought I was really slow but once I finished I did the same time as when I ran it another day. So I was so happy with myself. And all my anger and frustrations were gone and felt again chilled out! Thank God for that!!

Breakfast: Porridge oats, skimmed milk, sunflower seeds and choc whey protein
Snack: None
Lunch: Omelette made with 2 eggs and 2 egg whites. Gluten free pitta. Dessert: Pomegranate
Snack: Protein shake and apple
Dinner: Tiger prawns with sweet chilli sauce (no veggies ... shocking!!!) But it was so very nice. Dessert: pineapple, apple and lychees
Snack:
Drinks: 4L water & energy drink

Exercise: 7.5K run

Lost again :)

After gaining a kilo last week I lost that kilo and an extra 400gr. So I am quite happy with that. So all the efforts are paying off... and I might have lost more if I would have a better night sleep but hey as long as it is going downward I'm happy...

For the last few days I have felt so emotional and so out of character for me. And I have felt quite sick every time I eat. Due to the infection I had at my boobs I had to take antibiotics and the doctor told me to carry on taking the pill which means I haven't had any periods last month. And I am due next week. And I am sure that is the reason but it is driving me nuts as normally I don't feel like that. I might be just a bit sensitive but not crying like that all the time!! I always thought I don't suffer from this PMT ... maybe not as bad as some but surely I am still a woman!! :)
OK well now that I know that I might be a bit nicer to myself as the last few days I was beating myself up for being so sensitive and get a grip!!

OK tonight I see my PT again. And so cannot be asked to exercise, to see him, to make any effort. I just want to go home and collapse on the sofa and watch TV. Especially as I haven't slept much the last few days and just want to sleep and wake up refreshed and happy!! Don't we all... :)
PMT ... moi??? :)

My food has been all over the place so will just forget about it today. And start again tomorrow. Hopefully my sugar cravings will have gone aswell!! Looking forward to the long bankholiday w-e!! Good timing I would say :)

More positive today...

Today I feel more positive. And I have to thank all the lovely people on WLR for that. A while ago I was gonna stop my subscription as I am not counting calories anymore. But now I realise how important all these people on the boards are. And there is always someone who has gone the same thing as you. It is great that you share experiences . So now I have uncancelled my subscripion :) It feels like I made some new friends and it feels so good.

Now I realise that nutrition is very important where you are working out hard. And I believe that is what is missing right now. I never paid much attention to the nutrition part. So now I have to make more of an effort in eating the right things before a workout. Without everyone on WLR I would never have thought that nutrition was so important. Thank you all so very much!!

I was going to skip tonight but am absolutely shattered. I hardly slep last night so decided to give it a miss. A rest day is probably gonna do me some good. And I will go to bed early as I have some catching up to do. I think I slept in total about 3 hours or so. So today at work I really struggled to keep my eyes open. It felt like the longest day in my life!!

Breakfast: Porridge oats, skimmed milk, sunflower seeds and chocolate whey protein
Snack: White chocolate organic
Lunch: Bolognaise sauce (no pasta). Dessert: apple and grapes
Snack: 100gr yoghurt, blueberries, strawberries, redcurrant and 15gr vanilla whey protein
Dinner: Omelette made with 2 eggs and 3 egg whites. Dessert: Cherries
Drinks: Cafe latte, 3L water

Exercise: none

Frustrated with running club

I thought I was doing well with my running and my fitness. But so do not feel like it now. Today I went to the runningclub and since 3 weeks I am in the intermediate group. And keep struggling to keep up with them. The good thing is that I have found a running buddy who runs at more or less the same speed as I do. But it is so incredibly frustrating that I can't keep up with them. I have been running for a year or so and stil can't run any faster. It is soooo frustrating. I just feel like crying now. Thank God my running buddy kept being positive and telling me I was doing well otherwise I would have given up and gone home. So annoyed and demotivated right now. I just want to cancel all my session with my PT right now. Just because I think there is no point !! I thought I was getting quite fit with all the exercise I've been doing but I can tell you that right now it doesn't feel like that at all! I don't feel fat anymore but just what is the point of all this exercise if I can't even keep with the running club!! Ok will stop my moan here ... and just go to bed! :-(

Sorry for the moan. Hopefully will feel better tomorrow. But right now I just want to give up ...

Manic day today!!

Today was a manic day at work. It was so busy and everything that could have gone wrong went wrong. And then to top it all off my Outlook decided to call it a day as I couldn't open any emails anymore. So tomorrow will have to go to IT to have it sorted. I have this before and IT told me that my Outlook might have been corrupted or infected!! Not good!!
But even with all the stress I had today I manage not to resort to food especially chocolate as I would have done in the past. Very proud of myself! I really feel like now I have turned a corner and can manage the stresses in life without going to chocolates. Although I am sure that some days I might still do it. But every time I don't I feel like I have achieved a big step in the right direction!! So all this clean eating (not 100% clean but definitely so much cleaner than a few months ago! So for me right now it is clean enough :)) is paying off and also cutting out pasta, bread, potato and rice is one of the best things I've ever done. I have to say when I am really tired and lazy I just want to eat pasta with pesto but apart from these moments I don't crave it anymore. Another very positive thing for me! Some people might say that you shouldn't cut out stuff of your diet. I totally agree with that but what works for me doesn't necessarily works for someone else. I am very much an all or nothing kind of person ... maybe something to do with the fact I am a gemini :)

Today my PT was back from holiday and we had a very good session... in the gym. I so hate the gym but I know it is good for me. That is probably the reason why I need a PT as I wouldn't be able to motivate me to do weights and stuff. And right now for me it is a good investment as it will make me feel better and look like a princess ... HA!

Breakfast: Porridge oats, sunflower seeds, skimmed milk and chocolate whey protein
Snack: Apple
Lunch: Peaches with tuna, egg mayonaise. (This is a dish our family used to have during summer) Dessert: 2 Nectarines
Snack: 100gr yoghurt, redcurrants, strawberries, blueberries and vanilla whey protein
Dinner: Same as breakfast - couldn't be bothered with cooking anything. My arms feel like jelly after my workout. I have to start to be more organised and cook something over the w-e and freeze it! Dessert: Grapes
Drinks: Cafe latte, 3L water and energy drink

Exercise: Gym session with PT

Improvements

Today was my last session with my replacement PT Angela and it was a very though session. My foot was hurting as my laces were not tight enough yesterday so it was a bit sore, I am having a cold and feel absolutely awful so unnecessary to say that the last thing I want to do is going out for a run and having someone pushing you!! But anyway I am not one to just cancel a session with no good reason. So I went totally not motivated but it was a very good session. She told me that she could really see some improvement since last week and that I was doing really well and that now I should do some sprints to increase my speed as I am quite good in long distance running. So that was very pleasing to hear! I feel so much better and don't feel so fat or overweight anymore. I can really see that my shape is changing. So I feel good and my motivation is very high right now! Long may it continue :)

Yesterday was weigh day and I put on 1 kg but the fat number on my scale went down from 35.5 to 34.7. So I wasn't too downhearted about it. I think what also helped is that my focus has changed for wanting to exercise to lose weight now it is exercising to do a triathlon next year. And can really feel a shift in my head and in the way I cope with my weight. And I feel so free from any burden of having to lose every week. Right now my fitness is my main focus and it is good. Now I realise that just focussing on weightloss wasn't good for me and often made me feel down and depressed. So this is the new me!!

Now with all this exercising I struggle to eat something afterwards. I am often home at 9pm and then can't be bothered to cook anything no even an omelette. So this week I often had porridge twice a day (breakfast and dinner). I am not too sure whether it is good. Have to find something for when I come back or maybe cook something over the w-e and freeze it. But I am not the most organised person in the world so that will need some get used too!!

Breakfast: Porridge oats, skimmed milk, sunflower seeds and choc whey protein
Pre workout: 1/2 banana
Post workout: Banana protein shake
Lunch: Cheesey omelette with 1 egg and 2 egg whites. Dessert: Cherries
Snack: watermelon and too many cashwe nuts (have to stop buying these!!)
Dinner: King prawns and a fresh tomato salad. Dessert: Melon and red currant
Drinks: 3L water, Energy drink

Exercise: Run with Angela PT

Skipping!

On WLR someone mentioned that she started skipping again. And I remember that I used to love it when I was a little girl. So last night deicded to give a go. I wasn't expecting anything from it as I haven't done for a very long time. Anyways I started and to my surprise I was able to do 150 skips in one go. So did that for 22 minutes with a 30 sec break after every 150 skips and it burned me about 200 calories. I was very pleased with myself. And will probably do it again. Now I realise how much my finess has improved. When I finished my skipping session I did 3x planks for about 45sec. So all in all a good workout for me.

After that I went to meet up with friends to the pub. And now when I go out I always look out for the healthy stuff as opposed to the hevay creamy, fatty stuff. So it looks like the shift in my haed has taken place. I hope it will stay like that for a long time. Feels good! :) So now I don't feel too bad going out as I can control what goes in my mouth...

This evening I see Angela for another run. Looking forward ot it although I am very tired and can't wait to just be home afterwards in my PJs and chilling out! :)

Breakfast: Porridge oats, skimmed milk, sunflower seeds and chocolate whey protein
Snack: 3 Oat cakes
Lunch: Mixed salad from the salad bar at work. Dessert: Cantaloupe melon
Snack: 60gr yoghurt, blueberries, red currants and 10gr. vanilla whey protein
Pre workout: Banana
Post workout: Banana protein shake
Dinner: Porridge (same as breakfast. Can't feel my legs and arms anymore after my workout so no energy to cook anything. Have to get more organised for this). Dessert: Grapes
Snack: Depends if I feel like having one.
Drinks: Cafe latte, 4L water, Energy drink

Exercise: Run with Angela PT

Running Club

Today is running club day again. And I so love it although I always run at the end of the group. I can feel I am improving and the main thing is that I enjoy it. And I meet people which is for me very important right now. In the intermediate group there are more men than women so that is always good to push you and who know what might happen. Maybe prince charming is hidden in the pack :)
I realise that I am slow starter and once I get going then my pace really picks up ... a bit like a diesel :) So now I have to work on speeding up at the beginning. Not too sure how to do that. But I feel good right now with all the exercising I am doing and feel so much more better about myself and feel more confident. Right now life is good!! Let enjoy the moment :)

Breakfast: Porridge oats, skimmed milk, sunflower seeds and choc whey protein
Snack: Apple
Lunch: Salad from the canteen salad bar. Dessert: Mango
Snack: 100gr yoghurt, blueberries, strawberries, redcurrants and vanilla whey protein
Pre-workout: banana and 2 slices of Dr Karg cheese and olive
Post workout: Banana protein shake
Dinner: Porridge like breakfast (too tired to cook now)
Drinks: 1 Cafe latte, 4L water and energy drink

Exercise: Runningclub 5 miles

Today I had my first session with Angela, the replacement for my trainer who is on holiday. And I really enjoyed it. I normally prefer male trainers! And no offence to any of the female trainers. But I don't like when people tell me what to do so if someone has to tell me what to do then I'd rather it be a man. Sometimes I think it is a silly reason but can't help it as this is how I feel. Especially as I've never had a female trainer. So hopefully I haven't offended any female trainer here as it was definitely not my intention...
But I was pleasantly surprised. We went running and then in the middle stopped to do some press ups, planks,... It was very different than what I usually do but really good. I really enjoyed it. And I burned more calories too so very good all round! I think it is good to change trainers every so often. Although I quite like my male trainer as there is a lot more banter and teasing going on :)

Breakfast: Porridge oats, skimmed milk, sunflower seeds and 1 scoop chocolate whey protein
Snack: Apple
Lunch: Bolognaise sauce. Dessert: Mango
Snack: 100gr natural yoghurt, blueberries, strawberries, other berries (can't remember the name!!) and 1 scoop vanille whey protein
Pre workout: Banana
Post workout: Banana protein shake
Dinner: Omelette made with 2 eggs and 2 egg whites. Dessert: Passion fruit
Drinks: Cafe latte, 3L water, Energy drink

Exercise: Run with Angela PT

Lovely day today...

I had a lovely day today. This morning went for a 7.5K run in 55 min. I was quite pleased with myself. I wasn't quite sure what to do as I know I will do a lot of running this week. As my PT is on holiday and a girl is going to cover for him and we will go running a lot. But as I absolutely love running I don't mind it!! That is why I thought of doing something else today but couldn't think of anything that I wanted so went for my run and it was great!!

Then after lunch I met up with a friend and we chatted in the garden for most of it. It was so much fun to catch up on everything. And then we went to Nando's for a meal (totally not expected) and now I am back home and feeling good. I had a great w-e. It is a great feeling especially as the last few weeks have been quite difficult and though on me. So glad I have my happy face on again...

Breakfast: Porridge oats, skimmed milk, sunflower seeds and 1 scoop chocolate whey
Snack: Nectarine
Lunch: Egg omelette (made with 2 eggs and 2 egg whites) with cheese. Dessert: Cherries
Snack: Melon and Nakd bar Banana bread
Dinner: Nandos's: 1/4 chicken, mixed salad and chips with mayonnaise. Dessert: Nectarine and apricot
Drinks: Diet coke, 3L water, energy drink

Exercise: 7.5K run

Coffee with PT!!

Today my PT and I went for a pre-arranged coffee. First we ran around Windsor for 40 min or so and then we had a coffee. It was the first time we did something like that. And it was really good fun to do! We might do that again when I am his last client. It was actually good as we had time to talk about my progres. And I told him that I have been thinking about how to stay fit after I finish with all these sessions. As I am not gonna do for the rest of my life. And then he suggested for me to join his triatlon club. To be honest he already mentioned it quite a few times but I thought he was joking. And actually he was serious all along. So we talked about it in depth and I am really tempted to do it. As with that there is also a big social side to it too. Apparantly most of them are single (just like me!!) and they meet up on monthly basis for a BBQ or some other gathering. And that is just what I need right now. I want to meet more people and make more friends. So this might be the perfect thing for me. I am not someone who does something on her own. I need people around to spur me on and also as I don't like being on my own. And this could be ideal ... doing something fitness related (which I love right now) and meeting people. So when my PT is back from holiday(in a weeks time) I will probably start doing it. He has a bike that I could borrow and see if I like it and then we will see it from there. I am really excited about it right now!! Never thought I would do something like that. I would like to do a race one day. Maybe this is just the turnaround in my life that I need... :)

I feel like a lot has changed for me. First I started to clean up my diet, and having more protein and whey protein (which have helped so much in my diet!!), my fitness has improved in such a big way and now my social life could change for the better. All good!! I am so glad I stuck with this PT as he could introduce me to all this new things in life. And I know I wouldn't have done it on my own!!

Breakfast: Porridge oats, skimmed milk, sunflower seeds and 1 scoop chocolate whey protein
Pre-workout: Banana
Post workout: Vanilla protein shake
Lunch: Not too sure as I am not digesting my cafe latte I had. Just had some nuts and feels like this is going to be it till my snack or dinner.
Snack: Cherries
Dinner: Chicken kebab and spinack falafel. Dessert: and more cherries :)
Snack: 20gr nuts
Drinks: 1/2 coffee latte, 3L water, energy drink

Exercise: PT run

So bloated!

Yesterday had some friends over and we had pizza and other nibbly things. But "My Word" this morning I am in such a pain and feel so extremely bloated and also now a headache. I stopped eating wheat for the past 2 months or so. So now I probably realise that I shouldn't have these things too often or ever. As now it is such an unconfortable feeling. I always believed that the best diet is the one where you don't feel deprived and where you can eat what you want in moderation, of course! But now I am very tempted of not having pizza ever as this is not much fun. Now I see what this stuff does to you. And I can't wait to feel this bloatiness gone and back to feeling good!! And the pizza wasn't even that nice. What a waste ... Uptill now I never realised how bad this stuff is for you. Good lesson learned. But on a positive note I really enjoyed my evening out with my friends!

Anyway this morning back to my clean eating health plan :) And this evening I am going to see my PT and hopefully will go out for a run. I can't wait for that!! So I can talk to him about the runningclub too.

Breakfast: Porridge oats, skimmed milk, sunflower seeds and 1 scoop chocolate whey protein
Snack: Apple
Lunch: Mixed salad from the canteen salad bar. Dessert: fruit salad
Snack: 100gr yoghurt, strawberries, blueberrries, kiwi and 1/2 scoop banana whey protein
Post workout: Banana whey protein shake
Dinner: Egg omelette with 2 eggs and 2 egg whites, smoked salmon and a gluten free pitta. Dessert: Lychees
Snack: 20gr nuts
Drinks: 3L water, Energy drink, 1 Cafe latte

Exercise: PT gym session

Running club yesterday

Yesterday I went to the runningclub. And for the first time ever I went from the beginner to the intermediate group. I was a bit nervous though. But a running buddy who was in the beginner group with me joined me in the intermediate group. So I was quite relieved. It is abig jump as most of these intermediate runners go much faster than I do. But at least now I know what to aim for. In the beginners group I always finished first so that was no good for my improvements. Anyways was good fun with my new found running buddy. But I was a bit disappointed that the leader was always at the front of the group, so miles ahead of us. The good thing was that I knew the route otherwise we would have gone lost. I will have to speak to those who organise the runningclub as it is not very nice I think. And what will happen when I don't know the route. I just get lost... My PT is organising this so will speak to him. He couldn't make it yesterday so hopefully next time things will be different...

On a more positive note - I have lost 500gr WOOHOO!!! And I am really happy. I am still on target to lose another 4.5kg before my holiday end of September. So I am on high today. And I have half day off today so I can spend a day with my friend Bea visiting me. She is leaving again tomorrow. So will be nice to chat and chat and chat .... :)

Breakfast: Porridge oats, sunflower seeds, skimmed milk and 1 scoop chocolate whey protein
Snack: fruit salad
Lunch: Roasted vegetables
Snack: Yoghurt, strawberries, blueberries and 1/2 scoop vanilla whey protein
Dinner: Pizza, crisps, dips,... My friend is inviting friends over for her last night. Hopefully I won't feel too bloated in the morning.
Drinks: 3L water, Cafe latte

Exercise: None

Lovely comment today :)

I had a lovely comment today on WLR. Someone said that she loves my blog. It really made me smile and felt good about this blog.

Ok my infection to my boob has almost completely gone now. I feel so relieved as I was a bit worried about it. And now that I don't use my HRM till the infection has gone totally I feel a bit naked when I am out there exercising. Amazing how you get used to these things. I am glad my PT tells me if I am doing well. As he is honest he will also tell me if I am not doing great... I like honest people. I am someone who wears her heart on her sleeve and not like to beat round the bush. Just tell me how it is at least I know where I stand :)

Just been for a run today with my PT. My God it is was so hot. It was such a big struggle. Now I can honestly say that I'd rather run in the rain or in the cold than in a hot 27 degrees. I felt my legs were loaded with lead and that I couldn't move them. Anyway now after some food and a shower I feel quite good about myself now. Tomorrow is running club and the forecast is rain so I am all smiles right now!! Never thought I would say that I prefer running in the rain...

Breakfast: Porridge oats, 1 scoop chocolate whey, sunflower seeds and skimmed milk
Snack: 1/2 melon
Lunch: Mixed salad with dressing from the canteen. Dessert: Fruit salad
Snack: 100 gr yoghurt, strawberries, blueberries and 1/2 scoop vanilla whey
Post workout: Banana whey protein shake
Dinner: Cheese Omelette (made with 2 eggs and 2 egg whites), gluten free pita bread. Dessert: Grapes
Snack: 20gr nuts
Drinks: 4L water, Energy drink, Cafe latte

Exercise: Very hot run with PT

I have a bit of a problem due to my HRM. It has rubbed against my boob and now I got a horrible infection. I've noticed the first time a few weeks ago but thought it was just a bit red and didn't think much of it. But the last few times I have used my HRM my boob was really very sore at the night and when I had a shower it was so extremely painful. The tears were just rolling down my cheeks. So went to the doctor and she was quite shocked a how much it was infected. So now I am on antibiotics and a cream too. And now I can already see the difference and feel so much better but today haven't used my HRM. And because I've used for every time I exercised I felt really naked and it annoyed me that I didn't really know how many calories I burned. But then again I don't want to use my HRM till it is totally healed. If anyone has any suggestions on how not to have it again ...!

Yesterday was my big first meal eat since I started to clean up my diet. I had moules-frites. It was lovely. I really enjoyed it. But have been feeling quite bloated this morning. Now that I am back from my run I feel so much better and the bloating feeling has gone. Although I really enjoyed my meal it made me also realise that I don't really miss chips and if I can have every so often then I am happy!

Today went for a run with my PT and also another girl who will take over when my PT goes on holiday. He is just going for a week but it is good that I will keep running/exercising. It was so much fun. Now I can really feel my legs and knees really hurting. I have pushed myself today and feel so good now. I so love running now. It is like an addiction for me! I can't live without it anymore...

Breakfast: Porridge oats, skimmed milk, sunflower seeds and chocolate whey protein
Post workout: Banana whey protein shake
Lunch: 200gr yoghurt, strawberries, blueberries and vanilla whey protein. Dessert: Cherries
Snack: Oat cakes and an apple
Dinner: Chicken breast, chicory, mayonnaise and cherry tomatoes with Balsamic vinegar.
Snack: 25gr mixed nuts
Drinks: 3L water and energy drink

Exercise: Run with PT

Running in the rain!!

Yesterday I didn't go to the runningclub as I sneezed my head off. And the cold was well on its way and I could hardly breathe let alone run 10 miles. So decided to stay and go to bed early. I was so gutted as I am always so looking forward to the runningclub. But then today I realised I did the right thing and rest. Yesterday I went to bed at 9pm and slept till 8am. So my body probably needed it. And so after all this rest I felt so much better.

Went for a run with my PT in the rain. And I really enjoyed it. Never thought I would say that. And I don't think I've ever ran in the rain. But now that I love running so much I don't care whether it rains or not. And since last week my sessions with my PT were always in the gym and it really got on my nerves as I so dislike the gym. But I know it is good for my weightloss and fitness.

Tomorrow is weigh in day. I hope I will be below 85kg. Fingers crossed!

Breakfast: Porridge oats, sunflower seeds, chocolate whey protein and skimmed milk
Snack: Apple
Lunch: Mixed salad from the canteen. Dessert: fruit salad
Snack: 100 gr natural yoghurt, blueberries, strawberries and vanilla whey protein (10gr)
Dinner: Egg omelette (2 eggs and 3 egg whites), smoked salmon. Dessert: Berries
Drinks: Energy drink, 4L water, Cafe latte

Exercise: Wet run with PT

Feeling so much better...

Today am feeling so much better. It was a big change of shift in my head and my mood after my session with my counselor yesterday. I feel a big weight is off my shoulder and now I can enjoy life again. My very good friend Bea is coming on Friday and cannot wait to see her again. It is going to be so much fun having her here again and also to catch up on all the gossip.

Tomorrow is running club again and can't wait for it. I so love this. And tomorrow I will be running in the intermediate group. Sofar I have been running with the beginners. Am a bit nervous as I am not sure if I will be ready to go one group up. But I will have to wait and see ... My trainer told me I would be fine and he knows how I run... Now I don't even mind if it rains...

Breakfast: Porridge oats, skimmed milk, sunflower seeds and chocolate whey protein
Snack: Carrots
Lunch: Couscous, salmon, tomatoes, cucumber. Dessert: Mango
Snack: 100gr plain yogurt, strawberries, blueberries and 10gr vanilla whey protein
Post workout: Banana whey protein shake with 150ml water
Dinner: Cheese Omelette with 2 eggs and 2 egg white (Yummy!!!) Dessert: Lychees ... gosh I love these
Drinks: 3L water, 2 coffees latte, energy drink

Exercise: Gym session PT

Counsellor session today....

Today went to see my counsellor and it was quite a heavy session. I have been down lately and it was good to talk to her and realise where my issues lies and work on them. In this session it came out that I felt lonely as a lot of friends have moved away from the UK, some I didn't want to see anymore as they were draining me,... So in a way it is hard to hear that but on the other hand it is good as now that I know I can react on it and do something about it. So now I am on a mission to make new friends and what to take every opportunity to me to do so. I started 2 weeks ago with the runningclub and I love it. Everyone is so nice and friendly. And this is also a good way to meet new people ... and then in environment that I like which is running and getting fit. I don't want every time I meet new people there is food and drink involved. So yes right now I feel drained as this session with my counsellor took a lot out of me. But I am sure that after a good night sleep I will feel all ready to go again. I feel quite relieved right now and feel so much lighter in my head and my heart right now. And that feels good :)

Breakfast: Porridge oats, sunflower seeds, skimmed milk and chocolate whey protein
Snack: Pineapple
Lunch: Mixed salad (canteen). Dessert: fruit salad
Snack: 100gr. LF yogurt with blueberries, strawberries and vanilla whey protein
Dinner: Egg omelette (made with 2 eggs and 2 egg whites) and smoked salmon. Dessert: Cherries
Snack: 20gr. nuts
Drinks: 4L water& 1 Cafe latte

Exercise: none

Back on track....

Yesterday had a total blowout day!!! I ate everything in sight crisps, M&Ms, white chocolate, nuts.... and so on and on. I felt so sick afterwards. But glad is done and that day is over. Today was a much better day. Maybe I just needed a day like that. I've been so very good for 7 weeks or so. But I don't want to have a whole blow out day. It actually all started when I had a ready made fish pie. So now I know I shouldn't buy these things anymore. That was the only meal I still had in my freezer. So now I only have healthy stuff in my fridge-freezer.

Today I went to a Jazz concert in London with a friend and it was such a chilled out day. The weather was absolutely lovely. I really enjoyed it so much. My day started well as I ran a 7.5K and really enjoyed it. And foodwise it was good too. With this friend we had lunch and I had a warm chcken and bacon salad. I was quite pleased with my choice as it was the only healthy option on the menu. I was glad I didn't go for chips which is what I would have gone in the past. So something has clicked in my head....

Yesterday I was thinking how easy it was to just go back to old habits and stuff your face with sugary foods. But I am also very happy that my head clicked again the next day into a healthy clean diet mode.

Breakfast: Porridge oats, sunflower seeds, skimmed milk and chocolate whey protein
Snack: 100gr yogurt, strawberries, blueberries, brazil nuts and vanilla whey protein
Lunch: Warm chicken and bacon salad.
Snack: Nakd bar
Dinner: Bolognaise sauce without pasta. Dessert: Pineapple
Snack: 20gr nuts
Drinks: 3L water, energy drink and small glass rose wine

Exercise: 7.5K run