Saturday, 12 September 2009

Not fun being shy.....

Today was my first night out with the people of my runninclub. I started this runningclub 4-5 weeks ago....
I went out because I knew it was something I had to do. If I didn't go then I probably would regret it. I arrived there and I recognised someone from the running club, Simon and he was there with his wife. I chatted to them the whole time I was there. I am quite shy and never feel confortable to go and chat to people I don't know. I didn't recognise anybody especially as they were all dressed up. I hate it to be so shy and feel so not confident to go and just talk to peopleI don't know. I wish it didn't scare me off like that. My PT was there too and he checked on me at times to see if I was OK - which was nice!
I got home after 2 hours or so of being there and felt so down and started crying. Not too sure why - probably because I was hoping to have a good time. I probably just wanted to be like I am with my friends, bubbly, funny, talkative. They all say that I am good fun to have around. So why can I not be like that with people I don't know!!! GRRRRRR!!

I knew I had to go as otherwise I would probably feel guilty of not going. And I want to meet new people... but how am I gonna meet new people if I am so shy. Right now it doesn't make sense. Maybe I have to go more often to these gathering ... but right now I don't really want to go again.

Oh well at least I went. Thank God I meeting up with some friends tomorrow and Sunday. So that should cheer me up again.

Sorry not a positive post .... but had to get it of my chest!! Tomorrow is another day ...


Chocolatebutton said...

Ah keep smiling hun - you dont come across as shy - i think yes maybe you do need to go out of your comfort zone and do things like that more often - you didnt know your own friends once did you? you met them all somehow!

Not everyone likes the most overly confident people anyway so have some faith in yourself and i bet others felt exactly the same as you too

Caroline said...

Thanks Choccy! That was a lovely message. I feel more positive now. And the worst is that nobody made me feel unconfortable. It was all in my head. I've only been to the runningclubs for 3-4 weeks so if I go more often then I will meet people too.

Thanks again for your kind words :)