Tuesday, 3 November 2009


Yesterday have been on an emotional rollercoaster. I am in the process of renovating my house. And the friends staying with me are helping me out with that. They know me so well so it is actually great to have them here. As I am not that great at making decisions especially quite big one like redecorating my house. Anyway yesterday during the day (while I was working) they went to have a look for sofa's and carpets for me...which is very nice! So after work when we went to the shops where they saw something nice to show me... And I started to get extremely emotional ... Every since my dad died I have really struggled with the money he has left us. And I want to use it wisely which is for my house. But on the other hand I found it very hard to spend that money too as I'd rather not have it and still have my dad... Sorry if this is a bit too personal ,,, but I had to get it off my chest!! So yesterday I was really stressed out and had terrible headache.

And then today it is sunshine again in my world :)... I am much calmer and can think straight again. And realised that my friends had given up on a whole day to help me out and that I should show a bit more appreciation!! So will tell them that tonight. And now also I have a better and clearer idea of what I want in my house. Amasing how one day is not another one.

This morning went for a quick walk with my friends dog. And I loved it!

Tonight I will see my PT for a though gym session!

I have decided to write down my food again as haven't done for a long long time!!

Breakfast: Porridge oats, sunflower seeds, skimmed milk and chocolate whey
Snack: 2 mandarines
Lunch: Jacket potato and cheese (Oops!!! Too many calories). Dessert: Fruit salad
Pre workout: Banana and almond nut butter and a protein shake
Post workout: Protein shake
Dinner: To be decided
Snack: Not too sure either
Drinks: 1 Caffee Latte, 3L water, Energy drink

Exercise: Gym session with PT + 15min walking the dog (Probably not enough as exercise!!)


deisegirl said...

Obviously you'd rather have your dad there but I'm sure he would want you to spend the money on something that makes your life more pleasant. I'm glad that you felt a bit better about it the following day.

Enjoy your whoop ass gym session ;-)

Chocolatebutton said...

Hun of course you would rather have your Dad back but unfortunately you cant work miracles so try to think of it that each time you look at the things you buy for your house etc that your Dad will be looking down on you smiling that these things have made you happy and that he has helped you!
What lovely friends to have too!

DonnyFan said...

sweetie, when my best friend died her daughter was given the keys to her car, but she couldn't bring herself to drive it for many weeks.

it takes time, but it's true, time truly is a great healer and the raw grief subsides to be taken place by a sense of loss, but tinged with happiness because we know that our loved ones are looking down on us and tut tutting at us :-)


Caroline said...

Thank you all so very much for your lovely comments! I know my Dad will be looking down at me and be happy for me... And am sure somehow he is giving me advice too!! A bit spooky maybe but that is what I feel...


Chocolatebutton said...

No spooky at all - quite reassuring really xx