Normal service has resumed .....

Funny that since I wrote this quite depressing post I have picked myself up again and feel much better about everything now. Writing things down is very liberating and helps me to put everything into perspective again ... :)

I have decided to start counting calories again. I stopped doing that for a long time and it worked fine back then. But right now I need some structure again and feel quite happy with that decision. I am quite motivated right now to stick to the calories and eat healthy. That is a great feeling! I have changed my weigh in day to Tuesday so that feels quite different too! I used to be Fridays.

I was feeling quite sick yesterday but still went to my PT session. Once I got there I thought this is not the best decision I've ever made. But after 10 min into the session I felt a bit better. And we did the most of the exercises sitting down. The only thing standing up I did was the crosstrainer and after 8-9 minutes I started to feel quite dizzy but still did the full 10 minutes. I don't like to give up. I already felt like I wasn't doing well as I didn't burn a lot of calories. But then again it is better to do what I've done than being miserable on my sofa! I still burned about 360 calories. At some point I thought I wouldn't even get to 200.... So all in all it is not too bad after all!
I won't be doing any exercises till Saturday as I still don't feel quite right and am very busy too. Sometimes I push myself too much to exercise when not feeling great and then I suffer later on. So decided to just chill out and then from Saturday go for it again :)

Even though I haven't watched my food for the past 4 weeks or so my clothes still feel the same. Until today I have been exercising almost every day. Sometimes it was just a short run of 30 minutes. But now I see that all these small things help not to put on weight.... And I was walking the dog every evening. Now I am more convinced to get a dog. I love them and it is good to get out too and love the company it gives you ....

I will start writing down my food again too.

Breakfast: Oatso simple golden syrup + 180ml skimmed milk
Snack: Apple
Lunch: 6 Wholegrain ryvitas, 2x mini pots philly extra light, Chicken soup (sachet!! Not the best clean eating food but have to finish the box... as I don't like to throw things away!) Dessert: 2 Satsumas
Snack: Trek flapjack
Dinner: Roast chicken + salad + home made dressing
Snack: Protein shake
Drinks: 1 cafe latte, 3L water

Exercise: none

Not in the right place ...

Right now my head is not in the right place to keep posting. So have decided to stop blogging till everything gets sorted in my head ...

Food is totally out of the window. My friends are still staying with me (week number 4) and then it is very hard to be healthy as they are not on a diet right now.

The good thing in all this is that I keep up with the running and my trainer too. It clears my head and keep my sanity. So hopefully will feel better soon and will start blogging again and talk about my diet and fitness and not about all the others stresses in my life right now... :)

My apologies for this very depressing post!!

Caroline xx

Today haven't got much to report but I found that writing stuff down keeps me on the right path. And keeps me focused to stay healthy and keep exercising.

Last night went running with the dog for a 5K run and loved every second of it. This cold, crisp weather is absolutely great to get out and get some fresh air. Felt so much better afterwards.

Tonight I have another session with my PT - well the replacement as my PT is doing a triathlon training week in Lanzarote. It is OK for some :) Not too sure about the replacement as she won't probably push me as hard as my PT but I thought it is better to do it than nothing at all! And I might be surprised as how hard she might push me...

Food for today:
Breakfast: Oatso simple sweet cinnamon with 180ml skimmed milk. (First time I tried it and I absolutely loved it. It wasn't much in my bowl but it kept me full till lunchtime)
Snack: Apple
Lunch: Left over dinner - soup with rice noodles, prawns, asparagus, baby corn (absolutely lovely). Dessert: 2 Satsumas
Pre workout: Banana with almond nut butter and a protein shake
Post workout: Protein shake
Dinner: Stuffed Peppers with couscous and ratatouille. Dessert: To be decided
Snack: Probably some piece of my lovely Belgian chocolates ... Oops!!
Drinks: 1 Cafe Latte, 3L water and energy drink

Exercise: Gym session PT

1st Sprint session...

Yesterday was the 1st time I did a proper sprint session. We did 5 sets of 5 trees. I have no idea of the distance it was but I suppose something around 50-70 metres. I think I went flat out as I struggle breathing afterwards and there was no way I could jog until the next set. So I just walked in between sets. I have to say that I was quite proud of myself that I managed 5 sets flat out. My PT kept telling me that these flat out sessions will help me a lot with my running – especially as I want to run faster. So from now on I will include some sprint session in my weekly workout. I found a 50m stretch just round the corner. I will start with that and see where it gets me. I have to say today my legs are absolutely killing me. I can hardly walk on the stairs. But I still want to do a gentle run later on with my friends dog. Or maybe just a power walk… but would rather do a run.

Yesterday food was atrocious and by the end of the evening I felt absolutely sick. I didn’t know how to sit on my sofa because I was so uncomfortable. Gosh that was painful. So from today this crap food has to stop. The thing is because my friends are staying with me and they have plenty of naughtiness in the house – I can’t stop myself from having some of it. And obviously the some of it turns into a major binge… I don’t think I have put a lot of weight as my clothes still feel the same. But I can see quite a few spots of my face and that is the direct result of crisps and choccies. So they have to go rapidly.

What I really feel right now is that after work I really need to have some fresh air. I never felt the urge before. So now when I get home and get changed and go for a run or a walk with the dog. I hope when my friends will be gone I will still carry on doing it! I think I will. Exercising is now a big part of my life. I just have to sort out my food. I know that once my friends will be gone I will go back to my healthy eating habits. It is a funny thing that ... having your friends staying with you is great but there always comes a day when you have enough and want your space again. And as soon as they leave you will miss them terribly!!! Especially these friends once they leave they go back to France and I might not see them for a few months...

On Saturday saw this guy for the 2nd time and I had a nice time. We seem to get on well and he is of a calm nature ... which is just what I need. Now I just wonder whether he is not too calm for me. But we will see. We have the same interests and we can't stop talking when we are together ... So it is all good for now!

I will start writing my food down again once everything goes back to normal.

Exercise: Gentle 5K run with the dog

I'm happy to have my food again under control. And I am motivated to eat healthy and keep exercising. My friend make a delicious meal with lots of veggies and pasta. And it was lovely and felt very good that I am not letting everything go out of the window because my friends are staying with me! They saw the big change in me and my shape and didn't want to ruin it by not cooking/eating healthy stuff! I thought that is very nice of them...

I have decided to weigh myself when they are gone so that is probably in 2 weeks. And will see how well I've done. My clothes are still fitting the same so I don't think I have put a lot of weight. But I will let you know once it is there. Still very happy with myself that I haven't given in ... yet! But it is getting harder every day. Retraining your brain is not always an easy thing to do!

My sister is arriving tonight and is leaving on Friday again. As my friends are staying with me she will stay in a hotel close to where I live. It is all a bit very busy right now! In the past I would have let go of all my healthy habits and just eating crap food. I am very proud of myself that I have changed and see the benefits of being healthy.

Food for today:
Breakfast: Porridge oats, skimmed milk, sunflower seeds and chox whey protein
Snack: Apple and pear
Lunch: Left over dinner (Yummy!) which is lots of veggies in a bouillon with pasta. Dessert: Satsumas
Pre-workout: Banana + almond nut butter and Protein shake
Post-workout: Protein shake
Dinner: going with my sister. And totally no idea where to go... Probably somewhere in Windsor
Drinks: Cappucino, 3L water and Energy drink

Exercise: PT session in the gym

Eventful run!

I had a very stressed day yesterday with my boss. I just could feel the stress as I was hungry all the time. I now realise that when I am stressed I am hungry. Or that is what I thought but now I realise it is not hunger at all!! Anyway I got home and went for a run with my friends dog. I needed to get out and have some fresh air. I was quite proud of myself that I didn't go for the choccies...

So off we went for that run. And because I was so stressed I started off at quite a fast pace. And I loved it. The weather was cold and crispy just how I like it!! And then after about 10-15 min we passed a garden where the firework just got off. And the dog got really scared and shot off across the road. Thank God he was on a leach. Well as she was so scared and nervous I decided to run back. And again the pace was still quite fast as the dog was so nervous and just wanted to go home. So in the end I did just 25 min but at such a fast pace. It felt I ran for much longer. All in all it was good fun ... probably more for me than for the dog.

When I got back from my run my friend had been cooking a lovely healthy meal with lots of veggies. So that part was excellent yesterday and today had a salad from the canteen. So right now it is going well again. And it makes me feel better too!

On Wednesday my sister is coming and will get me more belgian choccies... Of course an offer I can't refuse! I think if I stay the same this month then I've done very well... but as I am not weighing myself now. It will be the clothes telling me how well I'm doing.

This morning I tried on a skirt that this summer was still a bit tight. And this morning it fit just perfectly. So very happy me today :)

Here is my food:
Breakfast: 50gr porridge oats, 100ml skimmed milk, 10gr sunflower seeds and 25gr choc whey protein
Snack: Apple
Lunch: Mixed salad + dressing. Dessert: Mango
Pre-workout: Banana + almond nut butter and protein shake
Post workout: Protein shake
Dinner: My friend is cooking so not too sure what it will be. But probably again a lot of veggies..
Snack: 25gr nuts
Drinks: Cappucino, 3L water and Energy drink

Exercise: PT gym session

New day ....

OK so today I have to start to watch what I eat again. But all my good resolutions have been throw out of the window. I have still exercised 5 times last week but food was appaling. I am ashamed of my veggie count. Every week I say the same thing but I have to dosomething about it now. And Monday always seem the best day to start from fresh again. I don't think I have put on weight as my clothes still feel the same. And I still don't want to go on the scales.

My friends who are visiting me told me that they think that I don't eat enough. And I have to say I was very suprised to hear that. As I think I eat enough as I am having 5 meals a day. I know that people are funny like that and say things because they are jealous of well you are doing. But they have told me that I looked really well and skinny (probably a bit exaggerated!!) so I would be surprised if they would say I don't eat enough just because of jealously... I know that my dad was always very worried about that. Because I am very much a black and white kind of girl. So in the past when I went on a diet I could easily not eat enough (obviously not for very long as it is not sustainable!). So I started to think about what I eat and obviously I eat less than before because my stomach has shrunk. And now when I am full I just stop eating even if there is still something on my plate.. which is probably a big change for them!! Maybe they have to get used of me being different foodwise... But in a way I am glad they told me as now I will pay more attention to what I eat... as I definitely know now that you have to eat to lose weight!!

OK I am gonna leave it there as I am so grumpy this morning and my eyes are quite sore. I am still very tired. I will have to go bed early tonight otherwise my body will react to this lack of sleep of the past week ....

Here is my food for today:

Breakfast: Porridge oats, 100ml skimmed milk, sunflower seeds and chocolate whey protein
Snack: Apple
Lunch: Homemade Butternut Squash soup, rice cakes, Philly light. Dessert: Satsumas
Snack: 100gr yoghurt, blueberries, strawberries and vanilla whey protein
Dinner: Not too sure but probably a big salad with homemade dressing and chicken. But that might be different as my friend is cooking tonight...
Drinks: Caffee latte, 3L water

Exercise: Run with the dog

Happy Friday!!

So happy it is Friday! Am actually totally shattered... Can't keep my eyes open really! Had a quite challenging week (emotionally) but managed to get through it with flying colors... So quite pleased with that!

Yesterday afternoon had half a day off and went shopping with the girls - all stuff for my house. And we had so much fun! It felt like we were back to our silly girls giggling days. And it was fab!! We were all flirting with the sales guys in the shops and they loved it to have 3 girls flirting with them....!!! I even got a date out of it! He is not my type at all (I am not even sure if he is going to call me) but it was just so much fun... :)

I haven't weighed myself for the last for almost 2 weeks and sofar I feel fine about it. Although I was quite tempted this morning to go on the scales. But will wait till I really can't wait anymore.

Right now I am exercising 5x a week. And I am very happy about that. For the moment doing it 6x a week is really a struggle especially as my friends are there and my routine is totally messed up. Hopefully next week should be easier. But still managed to do it 5x this week with my routing messed up. So quite pleased with that too!

Tonight I am going with the Canadian gang again. Right now I am so tired but I know that once I leave my work my energy levels will be up again :) And this w-e I am not doing anything special so will have plenty of time to chill out and sleep!! And sort out my veggies as have to up that in a big way!

It is weird honow that I don't weigh myself anymore on a regular basis that I don't seem to worry to much about my weight. I realise now that whether I am 1 kg less or more doesn't make me any happier. One of the things that makes me happy is to be around lovely people, still exercising 5x a week, running with the dog ... And the weight is not really that important anymore for the time being! I hope it will stay like this. For the moment I realise that numbers are just numbers and they shouldn't rule your mood!! It took me a very long time to get to this point. But boy what am I glad now that I manage that...

My food today is not going to be great. I will have porridge for breakfast and for lunch. I couldn't be bothered to think this morning about what to have. And I absolutely love porridge so that is not really an issue for me!!

This morning my kitchen scale died ... or better said the battery died! And I got really very irritated that I couldn't weigh my porridge, seeds and whey protein... So I had to guess and I am absolutely not good at this guessing game.. So will definitely have to get some new batteries!!

Happy friday to you all!!

xxxxx

Dog run!

This morning went running with my friends dog. She is such a lovely dog - beige labrador! Anyway this morning set my alarm to go for a walk with her but as it was cold and brisk outside I decided to go running. By the way absolutely love to run in this type of weather!! Much better than a hot sunny day...
I really enjoyed it. I did my usual about 5K run in about 34 min. So I was quite impressed as running with a dog for the first time is not always the easiest thing to do! Especially as in the beginning she was sniffing everything. Which is quite normal for a dog :) but after a few minutes she got the message that we were going for a run and not a leisurely walk. She loved it too. I might do it again while they are here...

Tomorrow I will be taking half a day off in the afternoon so I can go shopping with the girls and hopefully not be too emotional about it. But we'll see what happens. They know why I am like that so that makes it easier. I am quite excited to have half a day off now and go shopping.

This is my food for today: (getting back in my good habits although the veg counts is still very poor)

Breakfast: Porridge oats, sunflower seeds, skimmed milk and choc whey protein
Snack: pear
Lunch: Rice cakes and philadelphia light basil. Dessert: pomegranate and mango
Pre-workout: Banana and almond nut butter. Protein shake
Post workout: Protein shake
Dinner: Probably my lovely porridge again
Snack: Not too sure about that.
Drinks: 1 caffee latte and 4L water

Exrecise: 34 min run with the dog + PT session

Rollercoaster

Yesterday have been on an emotional rollercoaster. I am in the process of renovating my house. And the friends staying with me are helping me out with that. They know me so well so it is actually great to have them here. As I am not that great at making decisions especially quite big one like redecorating my house. Anyway yesterday during the day (while I was working) they went to have a look for sofa's and carpets for me...which is very nice! So after work when we went to the shops where they saw something nice to show me... And I started to get extremely emotional ... Every since my dad died I have really struggled with the money he has left us. And I want to use it wisely which is for my house. But on the other hand I found it very hard to spend that money too as I'd rather not have it and still have my dad... Sorry if this is a bit too personal ,,, but I had to get it off my chest!! So yesterday I was really stressed out and had terrible headache.

And then today it is sunshine again in my world :)... I am much calmer and can think straight again. And realised that my friends had given up on a whole day to help me out and that I should show a bit more appreciation!! So will tell them that tonight. And now also I have a better and clearer idea of what I want in my house. Amasing how one day is not another one.

This morning went for a quick walk with my friends dog. And I loved it!

Tonight I will see my PT for a though gym session!

I have decided to write down my food again as haven't done for a long long time!!

Breakfast: Porridge oats, sunflower seeds, skimmed milk and chocolate whey
Snack: 2 mandarines
Lunch: Jacket potato and cheese (Oops!!! Too many calories). Dessert: Fruit salad
Pre workout: Banana and almond nut butter and a protein shake
Post workout: Protein shake
Dinner: To be decided
Snack: Not too sure either
Drinks: 1 Caffee Latte, 3L water, Energy drink

Exercise: Gym session with PT + 15min walking the dog (Probably not enough as exercise!!)

Great w-e!!

I had an absolute fab w-e!! Not good at all for the diet but great for everything else :)

Saturday went on a date and it went quite well. I was 15 min late which is not a very good start. But for some reason I can't be on time anywhere. I don't do it on purpose it just is. The more I try the worse it gets... So my friends and family knows that but when you go on a first date it might not be the best thing... Anyway it was great fun and we chatted for about 2-3 hours and we got on quite well and a lot in common. So for the rest of the day couldn't stop smiling ... Hopefully we will meet again and then see how it goes. I think the first date is always a bit a weird one as both are nervous...

In the evening I met up with some friends and went out for a meal. It was great fun again and still had a big smile on my face!! Again not good the flat tummy I am working on ... but hey the flat tummy will come at some point! I am so happy to be out and about and am having so much fun now ... I have always said that I don't want to stop living for a diet!! It might take longer ... so so be it!!

On Sunday I met up with my PT and we went for a great run in Virginia Waters. I told him I want a change of scenery as we always run on the same routes and I was getting bored of them. And I knew exactly when there was a bridge, a tree, a wobbly stone.... Anyway that was a tough run as it was going up and down the whole time but I burned so many calories... Amazing! I didn't feel like I was doing well but was pleasantly suprised at the result at the end.. So hopefully we will do that again. And then we went for a coffee and had a brownie. Great fun and the brownie was delicious...

And then got back and my friends from France just arrived then. They will be staying with me for the next 2-3 weeks. Great stuff. They have a lovely dog...
It was so nice because the complimented on how good I look. And how skinny my shoulders, my legs and my bum are. It was so nice to hear all this. As I have noticed that there is a lot of jealousy out there. So I felt really good about the compliment. And now I feel quite skinny...

Last week didn't exercises 6x, I only managed to do 4x. I have to make an effort to do 6x now... Well I will be running/walking with the dog. So will definitely burn more calories this week. So that is good...

xxx