Every year around the time my dad died I feel the same way. I am crying all the time without any obvious reason, I can't be bothered with anything, at work everything is too much and am so not motivated and I don't even care if I lose my job. Obviously in a few days, maybe even tomorrow, I will feel totally different. This is what they call is part of the mourning process. But fun is something else!! I know it is good to cry to let it out but at work they wonder what is going on. And I am not the one that will talk to people at work about it. I found it already hard enough to tell my friends this so let alone my colleagues ... who to be honest couldn't care less!! Or at least my colleagues...

I didn't want this to be a negative post because I still feel blessed to have had the dad I had. It is just hard to miss him like that!! But I'd rather have it that way and remember the great times we had than the opposite.

Was talking to a colleague about my holidays and stuff and then she mentioned that every friday night she is going out with whoever wants to come to Ealing. She is Canadian and the people going are most of them also Canadian. And she told me if I wanted to join them I am more than welcome. Well that has cheered me up! It would be good to do that every Friday and see new faces. Just what I need! Now I just have to face my shyness fears to meet new people... It is the same thing all over every time I go somewhere I don't know people. But that is the only way I will meet people and hopefully meet the man of my dreams :) And I know Canadian people are very nice people and very open so hopefully that will help me feel confortable with them... Will let you know how it went....

Foodwise it is still not great as am not eating a lot of veggies. But now I just want to get used to being back and get my routine back. As now it is all over the place. Will be good when it is all back to normal. My sleeping pattern is not great either but that I don't know whether it is because of the jetlag of my dad. So hopefully by the end of the week everything should be OK!!

xxxx